So you’ve wondered vaguely about counselling.  Something’s not quite right but you’re unsure what to do about it or where to go.   Or you might be in the middle of a crisis and don’t know which way to turn.  But is counselling for you?   Surely, you think, you should be able to sort this out for yourself.  How could sitting in a room talking to a stranger possibly help?

Fortunately counselling no longer has the stigma attached to it that it used to have.   People were reluctant to admit they were seeing a counsellor, fearing it might be seen as a sign of weakness, that they couldn’t cope (and haven’t we all been in that place at some time in our lives?)   Nowadays, we’re more able to talk about our experience of counselling without feeling embarrassed.  However, I think people are still generally unclear about how counselling can be used, who it might be for and how it works.

Counselling can be helpful in a variety of different situations and a number of different ways.

If you’re in the middle of a crisis, it can make a big difference to talk it through with someone who has your best interests at heart but isn’t emotionally involved.  A counsellor will ask questions to help you gain insight into the situation, reflect back some of your thoughts, issues and concerns.  It’s also an opportunity to help you explore exactly what you do think and feel about your crisis and provide a caring, supportive space for you to stop all the thoughts simply going round in your head and explore them more constructively.  Once you’re able to do this, the way forward is usually clearer and easier to follow.

Or it may be that you’ve had difficulties over a number of years which, no matter how hard you’ve tried, you’ve never seemed able to resolve.   Seeing a counsellor is a great opportunity to explore what these difficulties are really about; start to see them from a different perspective and begin to come up with your own answers, guided and supported by your counsellor, as to how best to move forward.

Some people come to counselling because they’re not sure what’s wrong with their life, they simply have a sense that it isn’t working as well as it might be.  Counselling is an excellent opportunity to explore exactly where you are in your life at the moment, look further at the areas that you’re not that happy with and, together with your counsellor, find new and different ways forward that had not been apparent when you were struggling on your own.

In general, counselling is an opportunity to really hear yourself think and allow yourself to feel in ways you may never have done before.   Together with your counsellor’s guidance, encouragement and support, it’s about standing back and taking a fresh look at your life so that new answers and revelations are allowed to surface, leading you towards a life you’re happy with.

If you’d like to discuss whether counselling is for you, please do call Carrie for a brief chat on 01285 862158 or e-mail her on carrie@carrierose.co.uk

It’s true that the counselling experience is unlike any other.   You are not sitting with a friend or family member.   This person before you is a stranger and yet you are here to tell them about some of your deepest concerns.

It’s understandable that you might be feeling nervous or apprehensive.

And yet, if you are with a counsellor who you feel comfortable with, you might be surprised how quickly you feel able to open up and talk.

It’s a good idea if you can go into your first counselling session with a willingness to be as open and honest as you are able to.  The more you feel able to tell your counsellor, the more likely they are to be able to help you.

So what actually happens?

Initially the counsellor may ask you if you’ve had any previous experience of counselling.  This can help both the counsellor to get a sense of how used you are (or not) to this kind of situation.  It’s also an opportunity for the client to talk about how previous experiences went or, if this is the first time, to perhaps express how they feel about that.

The counsellor will then ask the client to say something about why they’ve come and what particular problems are troubling them.  Clients often find that simply being able to talk about something that they might have been bottling up or struggling with has a positive impact.  In addition, even at this early stage, the counsellor may offer some useful insights: ask questions that prompt a different perspective or reflect back some of the client’s situation in a way that can be helpful.

The counsellor may then ask the client something about their current lives – their family and work for example – and about their history.   How was their childhood?  What was it like growing up in their family?  These are questions that help to give the counsellor a deeper, clearer sense of the person sitting before them.   So often, the problems that we’re struggling with today have at least some of their roots in the past and it can be enormously helpful to a counsellor to have some understanding of their client’s past from an early stage.

Towards the end of the allotted time (generally an hour), the counsellor will usually stop and ask the client how they are feeling about the session.  This is an opportunity to discuss what the experience has been like and to talk about whether or not they would like to continue (or to go away and have a think about it).

Initial sessions often end with clients surprised at how much better they feel after one session but aware that there is more work to be done if they really want to tackle their problem.

If you would like to discuss or book an initial session, please contact Carrie Rose on carrie@carrierose.co.uk or 01285 862158

Mostly our relationships and marriages start off with such promise. You get on well together, have much in common, laugh a lot, share values and goals, your sex life is great and then….. Well, what happened to the wonderful relationship you once had?

Yes, we can look at and, if we choose to, blame the pressures of life – work, money, children, running a home. There is no doubt that these areas of life can be challenging and create additional pressures. However, they don’t of themselves need to create relationship difficulties.

It’s common (and understandable) when the going gets tough in a relationship to feel that your partner is at least partly (if not entirely) to blame. If only they helped around the house more/were more supportive and attentive/wanted sex more (less?!) often…… They no longer seem to understand you or want to support you and they certainly don’t make you feel the way they used to.

What frequently happens when a relationship or marriage runs into difficulties is that each partner starts blaming the other. A power struggle then begins so that where you were once a team, you’re now at opposite sides of the boxing ring, each trying to win the next round. You find yourselves increasingly isolated from the other and begin to use any method you can to score the next point – sarcasm, withdrawing affection (that’ll teach them), pointing out their ‘defects’.

The problem with this kind of scenario is that no-one ever wins. All that happens is that you become increasingly distant from one-another and what used to feel like love can start to feel like hate.

So what’s the answer? The first step is to take responsibility for the situation. Stop blaming your partner and look at how you have been behaving. What can you change about your attitude, responses and general communication with your partner? How supportive, understanding and loving are you to them? How much time do you spend listening to their feelings and their needs? Where have you been needy, unrealistic, wanting something that you weren’t giving your partner (affection, attention, time……)? These can be difficult questions to ask yourself but vital if you are to take steps to rebuild your relationship.

Then start talking to them. Not the point-scoring, whose to blame kind of communicating you might have sunk into but talking about your feelings with respect for the other, being willing to listen to the other person’s point-of-view. This is often easier-said-than-done and this is where working with a professional counsellor can be beneficial. The presence of a supportive, non-judgemental third party to guide and encourage non-confrontational communication where each person listens and gives the other space to say what they need to say can be very helpful.

If you would like to discuss relationship counselling or book an initial session with Carrie Rose please contact her at carrie@carrierose.co.uk or on 01285 862158.

A well run counselling session can really help to increase staff moral and efficiency and also help employees to learn to cope when things get too much at work. Sometimes, it is not just stress that is the problem, with other work place incidents like bullying and job security concerns also weighing in to add to the overall uncomfortable feeling for the member of staff.

So, what exactly can work place counselling do for a business?

Reduce sickness levels – Stress and pressure is one of the biggest reasons for medium to long term sickness in the workplace. Employing a counsellor to help deal with stress and pressure can help to cut sickness levels in the work place, which will in turn of course lead to higher levels of efficiency and productivity.

Increase and improve job satisfaction – When people enjoy their job, they tend to perform better and more efficiently, which from a business owner point of view is highly desirable. By making sure all of your employees can deal with stress and emotional issues, you will be able to increase their job satisfaction and overall happiness, which will usually make for a much better worker!

Increased levels of commitment from staff – If staff members know that you are investing money when it comes to looking after them, the majority will reciprocate with an increased level of commitment, because generally people do reward the people who care for them.

Give employees a method of dealing with stress – Although it is vital to help employees deal with the issues that have lead them to need counselling, it is also necessary to help them deal with future pressures and stress levels and counselling can help people to learn the methods that can help them to cope in the future.

Improve mental health and stability – It is important to look after your staff, even if their issues are not caused by work factors and therefore employing the services of a counsellor can help them to increase their mental health and also their emotional stability, which can be crucial going forward in life.

Counselling in the work place can be approached in different ways. Some businesses prefer to offer one-to-one counselling session for employees, either on or off site, allowing the employees that require this type of counselling to sit down with a counsellor, face-to-face and really tackle the problems. Some businesses find that telephone counselling works better for their employees and some will even allow computers to come into play, with counselling taking place via email or IM programs like Skype or MSN.

It is so important for any business that employs staff to realise that from time to time, their employees do need someone to talk to, as business today is far more pressured and stressful than it was a few years ago. There is so much more strain placed on the shoulders of team members to perform, increase sales or productivity and to generally keep the business working. Because with a heavy recession upon us, the stress levels are far greater than they were even a couple of years ago.

If you feel that work place counselling could be beneficial for your company, then give Carrie Rose a phone call for a quick chat about how everything works on 01285 862 158

Running a business that relies on its team members and staff to work well under increasing pressure can be a challenge, with stress and emotions often running high, meaning that it can be hard for your employees to cope when things get too much.

Workplace Counselling can help to:

• Reduce sickness levels
• Increase and improve job satisfaction
• Increase levels of commitment from staff
• Give employees a method of dealing with stress
• Improve mental health and stability

Stress at work is a common challenge for businesses throughout the UK and whilst some stress can be good for employees, when the stress gets too much to deal with and the strains begin to show, things can quickly start grinding to a halt, with mistakes, emotions and pressure rising alongside the stress levels.

Counselling in the work place has been proven to help staff get more from their job. By increasing the happiness levels of your team members, this will then lead through to helping to increase productivity and success for your business.

With many businesses often forgetting how effective work place counselling could be for the whole operational aspect of the firm, it is important that your business doesn’t suffer the same mistakes.

If you feel that work place counselling could be beneficial for your company, then give Carrie Rose a phone call for a quick chat about how everything works on 01285 862 158

Gloucestershire based Carrie Rose is an experienced and qualified counsellor offering professional and personal counselling services for people living in around Cirencester, Gloucester, Cheltenham, Tetbury, Fairford and Stroud.

Counselling can help anybody with problems that are affecting their life, from anxiety and depression all the way through to traumatic events that have left a lasting impression on the person’s daily living.

You might consider counselling if:

• You are depressed, anxious or fearful.

• You have relationship problems.

• Life seems a struggle.

• A recent event has left you feeling unable to cope.

• You are simply unhappy and not sure why.

When considering who to approach for counselling many people often hit a brick wall and worry they will not find someone that they can trust and relate to, but Carrie Rose offers a personal and confidential service, meaning that you can rest assured you are not only dealing with a professional counsellor but also one that cares.

Carrie Rose is able to offer a range of counselling services and these include:

• General Counselling

• Couples / Relationship Counselling

• Life Coaching

• Workplace Counselling

• Workplace coaching

If you would like to find out more about the services that Carrie Rose currently offers then you can visit her website – http://www.carrierose.co.uk – or you can ring Carrie directly on 01285 862 158 to have an initial chat with her to find out if counselling or coaching is the right option for you.

When couples go through troubles, issues and conflict, both parties often wonder where to turn to and what to do, not knowing if they can work through their issues and then who to go to for help. Relationship issues are ever so personal and finding someone that you can trust and turn to for help, guidance and advice to help fix your relationship or marriage can be very difficult.

Couples Counselling is the right option if you and your partner want to resolve relationship issues together but feel that you are unable to do so by yourselves. Often when communication seems too difficult, couples become distant from each other and feel that they want to give up, which when you have been together for a long time can seem like such a waste, especially if the main problem is communication.

Sometimes, one or both of the people in the relationship begin to feel that the relationship is not as good as it could be and would like to do something about it but are not sure what to do or if there is something that can be done about these very hard-to-cope-with feelings.

When the love begins to leave the relationship and you do not know why, it is imperative that you try to deal with the situation as soon as you can, because the longer you leave the situation the worse your problems will become.

Although one party might be reluctant to attend, it is vital that you give your relationship a chance to recover or survive by visiting a counsellor, even though by offering to actually do so can often seem quite daunting for either party, but could turn out to be a major positive if you can begin to save your marriage and start afresh for the future.

Through expert and qualified guidance in a supportive, non-judgemental environment, couples have the opportunity to talk and listen to one another openly and effectively. Issues that have previously felt too challenging can be brought up and discussed in the safety of the counselling room with the couple and the counsellor working together seeking mutually beneficial solutions.

Having a compassionate third party present to guide and support communication and conflict resolution can be a deeply rewarding and helpful experience. This is why counselling can really work for couples who are struggling to make their relationship or marriage work, because often, with communication and a neutral third party to listen and guide you, you can begin to save your relationship and work forward.